Finding Jeabus... Or the remote...

I was talking today with a coworker of mine today about things in the past that I need to forgive and try to forget. She seems to think that if I find my spiritual side that it will help me get through.. I ponder this for awhile and i still stand by my decisions to be be who I am today. Why do I need to find god now? Where the hell was he when I was so young and innocent and I needed him? Yeah that's right he wasn't there.. Go ahead and make all the excuses you want to rationalize why he was there but there was nothing he could do about. Thats a load of bullshit! I was once told someone wasn't praying for me so he didn't know what was going on.... Ok 2 things... I thought that GOD was ever knowing.. If he is all great and powerful then why the hell did he not see what was going on whith me??? Also who just prays that no one molest my child, grandaughter, friend, niece, cousin, etc?? As I kneel down at my bed at night and pray about all the things I would need to pray about to make sure god knows to watch out for all of the people I know and love I think it would take days..."Dear God, Please watch over said friend and make sure she don't choke on her water, stub her toe, get sick, cut finger off, etc, etc...... I digress.. Anyways, When all is said and done I will say what gets me through is good friends, good family, good boyfriend, a little alcohol every once and awhile, and the thought of what hurts me makes me stronger.. I guess I would not be the person I am today if the events of my past did not happen. Some I wish never happened, some I regret, and some are the most awesome things that have ever happened.. But to spend my whole life praying to a god that was never there for me is the most useless thing i could ever do.. Why waste my time when I could be enjoying life and the people who love me and are there for me...So I have not, will not ever find Jeabus.... But I have found the remote... It's under the couch..... I think Jeabus hid it there........